HaNk OuT of WaTeR!

In the corner of my livingroom rests a 25 gallon fishtank that is in dire need of a scrub down and water change. 5 fish currently call this fishtank home. 4 neon tetra and one "sucker" fish. The sucker's name is Hank. Hank is the object of Orey the Cat's almost constant facination. He will sit in front of the tank for prolonged periods of time attempting to get this fish. It can be quite comical to watch him.

Tonight while sitting at my computer desk I hear an odd sound coming from the corner of the room. The noise sounded as if something had jumped into the box of cat toys on the floor next to the bookcase that holds the fishtank. Curious as to the noise due to the fact that the cats don't appear to be anywhere nearby, I walk over to the box and move the toys around and find nothing. I am puzzled because I KNOW I heard a noise in that box. I glance at the fishtank and count the fish. 4 neons....and where the hell is HANK? I cannot find this fish and there really isn't anywhere to hide in the tank.

I am freaked out now. I heard the noise AND Hank is missing. I dump out the box of toys and rifle through them. Nope, no Hank. WTF? I am confused and go back to do a fish recount. 4 neons....and still NO HANK!

Now, I have suspected that Hank has been trying to make a break for it (wherever IT is) for a while now, as I have often heard what sounds like a fish attempting to jump out of the water. My blonde mind is racing at this point. Where the hell is that damn fish? I attempt to look behind the tank and reach my hand back there to pull out the power cords and plunge my hand into a spider web. Well, thats it for me, cuz thats just creepy and gross. I now head for the boys room hoping to find a decent flashlight in there. (side note to the boy: Where the HELL are all your flashlights? Don't you have about a million? Why can't I find a decent one in there?) I find a flashlight that actually works and head back to the fishtank area. I peek behind on one side and low and behold, I see what appears to be HANK OUT OF WATER! GAH! I can't get my hand back there, and even if I could, ew,ew,ew! I don't want to actually TOUCH the thing.

I realize that I now have to pull the heavy bookcase out from the wall to allow access for the Fish Rescue. I get the bookcase pulled out without killing myself and sure enough, there is HANK! I now have to figure out how to get him from the floor back into the tank above. I am SO not touching the fish. I decide that I will use a kitchen spoon with a long handle. I scoop Hank up into it and get him almost up to the tank and that little bastard jumps back out. WTF? I try again and manage to get him back into the tank. As I am taking him up to the tank the second time I fear that Hank has met an unfortunate death, but upon putting him in the water, he first floats and then takes off like a shot and hides in his rock.

I have saved the fish. I am trying to decide what to do with the kitchen spoon. I dunno if I want to use it for food now. giggle. Yes, I can send it through the dishwasher, but I am thinking its gonna have to go through several hundred washes before I will even want to consider using it for my food again. I have attempted to block off Hanks escape route. I have seen the dumbass fish moving about the tank, so it appears that he may indeed live to tell the fish tale of his attempt to make a break for it.

I have had enough excitement for today. I hope that damn fish stays put. Can you imagine if I had not been home to hear the strange noise? I would have this nasty smell in my house and a missing fish. I wonder which I would have noticed first. The missing fish or the awful smell, to say nothing of what would even cause me to consider that the source of the awful smell would be found behind the bookcase.

I need another drink!

SIGH!