Thursday Thirteen.....

.....Rules of Chocolate.

1. Chocolate is a Vegetable. Chocolate Cake Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Beans are vegetables. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants. Plants are vegetables. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
2. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, so candy bars are a health food.
3. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
4. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
5. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
6. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
7. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
8. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
9. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
10. Eating equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate is a balanced diet. They counteract each other.
11. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
12. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
13. Question: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Answer: Because no one wants to quit.